Sigh. Day 2 of another migraine. Frustrated at not knowing the trigger… again. Desperate to find a cure – but not willing to give in to drugs or medicine. I want a long-term fix, not a short-term one. Not only do I feel awful, but I feel bad not having the energy to interact with my family and friends. Today I apologize for being a terrible mom, daughter, wife, and friend.
This is a re-post from my old blog that gives me a little bit of hope whenever I get my migraines… a reminder to appreciate even things like pain.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve suffered from migraines. They come whenever they want – as soon as 2 weeks later or as long as 6 weeks later – but when they come, they last for 3 days. Guaranteed.
On the first day, I know something doesn’t feel right. I try to drink water, rest, close my eyes, whatever I can… but as the day goes on, the pain increases and all I can do is dread the next 48 hours. The second and third day are the worst. Pain constantly shoots through the right side of my head, behind the eyes, down the neck… If I’m lucky, I won’t have nausea and dizziness, but I always have sensitivity to light and difficulty just keeping my eyes open. I get through the days by lying in bed with my eyes closed. Not sleeping, though. With a migraine, the pain is so intense I can’t fall asleep. Instead I lie my head or neck on a closed fist and let my knuckles create some acupressure. Massage doesn’t help, but I think it would feel good to squish my head between two metal plates (that Barbie picture above is a PERFECT description).
Why? What’s the purpose of suffering? Everyone has something that causes them pain – maybe back pain or sciatica or even cancer. Maybe there is some value for those that suffer more and experience chronic pain. When I wake up on that fourth day after a migraine attack, I feel amazing. My neck is light, my head is clear, and my energy is rejuvenated. Maybe suffering creates reminders to appreciate what no pain feels like. It is the best feeling ever to simply have no pain.
I often feel hopeless when I think about my migraines. To put it in perspective, I lose about a month out of every year, lying in bed in a dark room. But some people have it much worse than I do… God gave me migraines. Maybe God is teaching me not to take my health for granted. The 11 months I do have, I am reminded to be grateful. To hold my head high. And to smile.